The other day I was in a GoodWill shopping with my mom, and an employee asked what I was looking for and if I needed help. Cheerfully I told her I was shopping for my mom. I continued to share that my mom was going to a wedding that upcoming weekend and we were on the hunt for the perfect outfit. The lady smiled and asked if it was for my wedding. When I said it wasn’t she let all of her air out and said, “Oh good, you’re way too young to get married.” Very politely I responded, “Actually, I am already married.” With a horrified look on her face she asked cautiously, “Do you have any kids?” Again I responded as politely as I could that I did not. The employee hurried away and as she did I felt a mixture of pride and disappointment. Since that day I’ve been pondering a lot about getting married young and people’s preconceived notions about it. This is what I want to say.
Marriage is one of the most rewarding areas of my life. I love the companion that I have found in my husband. We balance each other out so well. I am a ridiculously excitable person, and he is my chill counterpart. I see things from a realist stand point, where he is the most optimistic person I’ve ever met. His emotions are consistent, and mine are like a rollercoaster. He is organized, and I am creative. I am a HUGE skeptic, and he is trusting. We see the world around us differently, and learn from the other’s point of view.
I am proud of my decision to get married at 20 years old! I’ve been married for a year and a half now and I have no regrets about choosing to do life with another person. Is it always easy? HECKNO! Is it perfect? NO. Do we fight? YES. Do we disagree? OFTEN. Do we each have to compromise? YES! Whether you get married at 20, 30, 40, 50 or beyond your marriage will not be perfect. And guess what? I LOVE MY IMPERFECT MARRIAGE.
I remember when I told people that I was getting married, some congratulated me and others told me I was ruining my life. There were people close to me that were not happy I was getting married, but a person who was cautiously optimistic about my marriage was my Aunt. I remember talking to her about it and one thing she said has stuck with me for years, “You guys have the benefit of growing up together. It’s different for someone who is in their late 20’s or early 30’s. When they get married they are already set in their ways, where you guys will learn about each other and yourselves at the same time.” I can’t describe how thankful I am that I get to grow with my best friend the rest of my life. I do not expect him to stay the same, and he does not expect that of me. Our interests, our likes and dislikes, our personalities, our physical appearance, all of it will change, and I’m okay with that.
So when people ask me why I got married so young, if I regret it, or give me a sour look for it, I hold my head up high and tell them how it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.